Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Surrender

I saw my hands, shriveled and blackened, clenched around the shame and fear of what had happened to me and what I'd done. Love looked at me.
"Let it go," He said. "I'll fill that place." He showed me mounds of fruit, so vibrantly colored they seemed to glow as light refracted off of them. The skin was clear and the liquid inside the fruit was effervescent - moving and sparkling. They were like growing, tender jewels. He showed me other living treasures, and I saw, as a picture, my hands made whole as the treasures were placed in my arms one after another until they were overflowing. The picture faded. "But you must let it go."
I looked down at my burned, closed fists. I could just see the light glint off my "treasure" between the fingers of my right hand; it was like black obsidian - dark, cold, and dead. My left hand cupped my right, supporting the oppresive weight of the dark stone from underneath.
I tried to separate my hands, to uncurl my fingers. I couldn't do it. It was as if my flesh was burned together. "Jesus, it's stuck. Unclench my hands. I am willing to give it to you." I begged, helpless, my voice tight. "Please take it."
He smiled at me, picked up one of His living treasures and placed it on my hands. It rolled off my blackened fists. The smile never left his face. He continued to place the fruit in my arms - such beautiful and varied treasures - so quickly, so joyfully. There was something earnest and strong in His movements, something similar to urgency but without any anxiety or panic. Instead, His face was radiant; His smile was child-like in its pure joy and exuberance. I smiled and laughed, trying to catch the glowing, sparkling orbs as they fell from my arms. Love's eyes glittered with mirth as He watched me. Before long, I caught a living ruby, and something heavy thudded against the floor. My hands were whole; my arms were full of living treasures. The black stone had become dust and was dissipating in the light from the fruit. Love was smiling at me, still adding treasures to the pile in my arms. I laughed and threw my arms around Him, the treasures falling in a shower around me, and He embraced me, echoing my laughter with His deep, rich, reverberating laugh.

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